Processing lockdown and some thoughts: You are not alone.

Hello guys, it’s been a while. ūüôā
I was very passive over here. I was considering sharing this post, but I thought of Brene Brown and, yeah, we all have to show some vulnerability. In some ways, however.

It’s been a lot, and maybe you feel the same emotions as me. After 15 months of online work, I’ve had enough. My brain isn’t there for sitting at the laptop for 12 hours. My mind neither. I’ve become more anxious and apart from being mindful and aware at all. Therefore, I didn’t feel creative or inspired at all. I struggled with performing in my studies and learning, working, yeah, keeping all areas of my life together. There was me holding the threads of my friends and family, my relationship, work, studies, health and yeah, I realized. I can’t find a balance. It’s impossible. There were times where my studies had to be my priority, so other things fall into the background. Every month I tried to focus on my health, except for taking my vitamin D every week, I failed. I felt like a failure. “Why haven’t I got my shit together?”. I felt drained and depressed. But I think that is a normal reaction to a pandemic. It’s a normal reaction of over a year and a half in lockdown. Seeing people only online, meeting under stress and thinking of being super cautious. I want to share this because maybe you are in the same place. Maybe, you need to know that you are not alone. You are not. A study conducted in Germany states that generalized anxiety increased by 44.9 per cent, depression 14.3 % and psychological distress 65.2 %. Also, they stated that females and younger people have a lot higher mental burden. If you are interested in that study I will link it down below.

I just wanna tell you. It’s okay. It’s okay to feel tired.
It’s okay to feel exhausted.
It’s okay to be sad.
It’s okay to cry more than before.
It’s okay to be not as productive as you should.
It’s okay, even if you tell yourself it doesn’t.
I believe that this time has a positive effect on us humans, too. We are reflecting our lives, values, priorities. But also, we are thinking out of the box when it comes to helping others, asking people if they need something, taking care of each other.
That is not a journey on our own at all. But, all the areas of our lives gives us time to rethink:
What do I miss right now?
Do I feel a lot better after setting boundaries with these people?
What craves my soul?
Do I want to live in the city anymore, or do I want to live more rural?
Do I like myself? Do I like who I’ve become?
What is living intentionally? Am I living the way to the fullest I can?

Be kind. Recognize your feelings. Take it day by day. What can you do now? Not in the future. Now. if you feel like watching a movie, do it. If you feel like this lesson makes you feel so drained and sad, go for a walk. Listen to yourself. Nourish yourself. And you will bloom again from the inside out.

I hope these thoughts and numbers tell you that you are not alone. We are in these together. Some people more deeply than others, but we are individuals. We deal not the same with emotions. But we all feel the same emotions.

Stay strong, Annie. ‚̧


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